☆ About Unreal Astrology ☆

We don't believe in astrology.
We send you horoscopes anyway.

This isn't hypocrisy—it's honesty. The planets don't care about your career. Mercury isn't actually moving backwards (it's an optical illusion caused by orbital mechanics). Your birth chart has the same predictive power as your shoe size.

And yet.

There's something useful about pausing each morning to consider: What am I worried about? What do I want? What would it mean to be brave today? Astrology provides a framework for that. Not a true one. A useful one.

We're here for people who want the ritual without the woo. The reflection without the self-deception. The beautiful crystal without pretending it has healing powers. (It's silicon dioxide. It's 40 million years old. It survived the Eocene. That's more interesting than "attracts love.")

★ What We Sell ★

Daily horoscopes

Honest about being made up—and useful anyway.

Birth chart reports

A framework that's cosmically meaningless but personally insightful.

Geological specimens

Genuinely beautiful, ethically sourced, and won't cure your anxiety. (See a therapist for that.)

★ Who We Are ★

A small team that thinks you can hold two things at once: knowing something isn't literally true, and finding it meaningful anyway.

"Would a smart friend who's a little embarrassed about their crystal collection laugh at this AND feel seen by it?"

That's our bar. If you're that person, you're home.