Unreal Astrology

The stars have opinions.
They're wrong, but they're confident.

Daily horoscopes that are honest about being fake—and useful anyway.

♉

Sample Daily Horoscope

Taurus

Venus is in a stable position, which tracks because you haven't moved from that spot on the couch in two hours and honestly? Valid. Rest is productive. You're not lazy, you're efficient with your energy. Treat yourself to something small today. You will anyway, but now it's cosmically sanctioned.

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